oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
