I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
