my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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