...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
