Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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