so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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