I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and you said cock pushups were impossible
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Everyone says I win the strip club
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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