I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
