so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
