so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Houston, we have a blender
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
