"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize