I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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