You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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