Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
