Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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