I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize