My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
