if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
