Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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