O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I would ride that face into the sunset
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
