somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
