I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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