dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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