Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
honey bunches of taint.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
