Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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