You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
