at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
