I just made out with a guy for $7.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
