I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
