btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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