What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
