My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
