my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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