i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Im just a social blackout drinker.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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