I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
