now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
bring money and cleavage
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
