If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
