i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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