her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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