i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
