And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
