Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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