since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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