god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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