I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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