So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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