I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize