Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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