For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
two words: eviction party
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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