just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
