a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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