I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
