You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
