is your mom at the bar?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
