i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
