In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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