And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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