I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
