I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
