its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the day after is always just damage control
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
