all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.