I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He did a backflip because drugs
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