I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm both gender and math confused
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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