You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
