Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Randomize
