dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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