Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
