his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
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I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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