I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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