I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
