do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
